Just Another Girl with a Blog :)

 Hi Blog! I hopefully come to you today with a more positive outlook on life. I still feel all the things from the last posts but I'm feeling more happy in general. I think it is from seeing my best friend and just talking with her makes me feel really different. But I need to learn how to feel this way without that and just on my own. I don't know why I'm happy and as usual, I'm still confused about life, the future, and everything I view. But I think I'm learning how to handles these in a more healthy and adult way... such as this blog... which in my opinion is the most teenage/ young adult movie typical shy girl thing to do... so maybe remove the adult from that. Haha. I bought some books this week, they are pre-owned from eBay but I am so excited to get stuck into them. I got: Wuthering Heights Pride and Prejudice Jane Eyre  The Great Gatsby Our Mutual Friend  and a newer one that I can't remember but anyway they are all hardbacks and I felt that when readin

  Hi Blog! I haven't written in a while and to be honest, I haven't had a clue what to write or how to put my words to paper... I tried so many times but I couldn't. Anyway today I'm feeling slightly more productive and like I want to discuss some things. One of these is my feeling that I will constantly be settling in life meaning I won't be happy. This is mostly in the area of romance and love but maybe slightly in my career path.  Let's start with a career, because it will take less time. As you know from my first post you know that I am planning on going to uni in September to do musical theatre but ultimately, in terms of the job I'm going to be a primary school teacher. All my teachers throughout my life said I would make a great teacher but said that I definitely have more potential. This never really bothered me- yeah it was annoying when they said it but I just brushed it off- somehow now I'm bothered by it and I always knew I had a dream scenar

 Hi Blog! OK, I'm going to disclose full honesty here... I have an eating disorder. Undiagnosed but as far as I see I don't know what else it could be. I binge eat. It covers my pain and replaces it with temporary pleasure. I've done it since I was a kid, my mum stopped buying things or would hide them and complained that I always ate them. But scapegoating me or screaming at me never helped and my mum doesn't accept mental health issues. She knows they exist but she thinks they are over dramaticised and doesn't realize how badly they impact me.  I've always been a bigger child. Before I was fat, I was tall and still stuck out. Then as I got older I put on more and more weight.  In high school when I was really stressed I would binge heavily and my mum would scream at me whilst I cried. I tried so many times to throw up but my darn gag reflexes aren't strong enough and it never worked. I know this isn't healthy but how do I help myself when I'm the o

 Hi Blog! Back again!  This time as promised I want to talk about After... the book and movie franchise, in January I read the books and honestly, they have changed my life. I had watched the movie beforehand many times but always had a sort of happy go lucky mocking tone when watching it as I generally didn't understand many motivations behind the plotline and characters. When reading the books it gave me a clearer look into the thought processes of the characters, especially in book 2, 3 and 4 (due to split view chapters). Overall, for a book connoisseur, they aren't the most revolutionary books to ever be written (I mean they originated from Wattpad), and many people I have spoken to thoroughly dislike the back and forth love and conflict but as we've established, I don't like normal happy relationships. I actually enjoyed the dynamics of Tessa and Hardin's relationship as they argued and loved. In my eyes what is deemed a good book comes from the readers' at

 Hi Blog! Yesterday I said I would share something I had written, so here it goes... What it Means to be Home...- By Zabrina Osborne A normal girl sitting on a bench, that’s the basis of this story. An ordinary girl sitting on the bench. She sits watching people rush by, and a small breeze sifts through her hair. The town square is always busier as it gets later in the year, and the icy cold chill was attacking her hands like a beaver breaking ground on a new home. She is clasping her phone waiting for it to vibrate just to make her feel less lonely and more connected to the world. Every person that passes makes her feel more insecure and sends her brain into a frenzy of anxious thoughts. She checks her phone, ‘NO NOTIFICATIONS’ As always it was empty. Everyone else is enwrapped in their own life, happy. She swept her wild red hair behind her ear to control it but it blew straight out again. The dull evening light cast a cool blur over her which created shadows that seemed to d

  Hi Blog! This is my first time doing this. I think during lockdown we are all feeling lonely or sad and I'm hoping that this blog will help me and possibly you through it.  I'm Zabrina! I just turned 18 on 14th January, but obviously haven't been able to celebrate :( I'm in the process of auditioning for universities and it's honestly stressing me out a little. I'm also slightly concerned that I have been playing my sad playlist on repeat since I made it and haven't listened to anything but it and a few podcasts. Anyway, I'm auditioning to do Musical Theatre at university... so I guess I'm not just another girl with a blog I'm also a theatre kid! Even better yet I'm a hopeless romantic that doesn't relate to anybody's longing for a nice happy relationship. Like yeah, I want a boyfriend but I want a toxic boyfriend... one of those from the books or movies. Someone who controls my life so I can let go.  Everyone tries to convince me t