My Brain Works in Funny Ways :(
Hi Blog! OK, I'm going to disclose full honesty here... I have an eating disorder. Undiagnosed but as far as I see I don't know what else it could be. I binge eat. It covers my pain and replaces it with temporary pleasure. I've done it since I was a kid, my mum stopped buying things or would hide them and complained that I always ate them. But scapegoating me or screaming at me never helped and my mum doesn't accept mental health issues. She knows they exist but she thinks they are over dramaticised and doesn't realize how badly they impact me. I've always been a bigger child. Before I was fat, I was tall and still stuck out. Then as I got older I put on more and more weight. In high school when I was really stressed I would binge heavily and my mum would scream at me whilst I cried. I tried so many times to throw up but my darn gag reflexes aren't strong enough and it never worked. I know this isn't healthy but how do I help myself when I'm the o...